So, you are here because you want to change?
You are fed up with how things are and you want to do things differently from now on?
But let me warn you now..the road to change can be hard.
Change is not always easy.
Often you are trying to change things that your body and mind have been doing for years.
Change can be exciting, nerve-racking, fearful, exhilarating, frustrating, tiring and all sorts of emotions in between.
However, you must be feeling the need to change something in your life, or why else would you be reading this article?
(Editor: “I’d rather be cleaning the toilet…”)
If there is something niggling away at you, telling you that you need to change direction, then this can be a chance for a new chapter in your life.
Change can be a crossroads in your life for that reflection and a take stock moment, to then…well… move forward.
However, moving forward without understanding WHY you want to change, can be a little bit dangerous.
It is like building a house, without any design plans.
You need to understand why you want to change.
And this is really important to consider.
But Why Jeff?
If you don’t understand why and move forward with understanding the motivation, maybe in a year or five, you may realise that you were changing the wrong things, and have made a mistake.
It is a bit late then!
And you do not want to do that.
So start by asking yourself the following questions;
- Why am I not happy with my life?
- Why am I feeling discontented and dissatisfied?
If you don’t know what and why you’re feeling how you do, then how can you move forward and change?
Sometimes we can feel low for no reason at all; it might be because of the weather, or having fallen out with somebody, or just feeling a bit rubbish about yourself.
If the feelings continue (and it isn’t clinical depression – see your GP) and you feel that something in your life isn’t right, then I have something to help you…
I’ve come up with the 7 Maybe’s. Welcome to my 7 Maybe’s Tool.
(The 7 What Jeff?)
The 7 Maybe’s are here to help you figure out what is going on for you, and what is triggering the change process.
These ‘Maybe’s’ are here to help you focus and reflect upon what it is you want.
You may not have anyone else in your life who can ask these questions, so I want you to put some time aside to self reflect. This time will help you down the line, it is really crucial before you go forward.
Spend a few minutes’ to work through them, there are only 7 (Ed; Yes thank you we got that bit!) and then at the end, you should be able to find out what you really want from your life.
You will then be in a great position to understand what is motivating the change, then plan the change and move forward from there.
So, to start this exercise have somewhere you can write some notes, it is a good idea to write/type down your answers.
These questions may also trigger other questions you want to ask yourself later on.
You’re starting on the road to changing your life and creating a new direction for yourself.
It is… Exciting stuff!
** Disclaimer: this is a tool to help you reflect upon your own life and think about what you want from a change process. It is not a diagnostic tool. Only you can create your own change.
Here we are …The 7 Maybe’s…
1. Maybe You are looking for a new way to live your life?
Are you feeling limited by your life?
Do you feel trapped?
Do you feel that you don’t have a place and space to develop yourself and progress as a human being?
Do you feel held back by others in your life?
Are you doing the same things every day?
Do you feel like you’re living in the Ground Hog Day film?
Maybe Netflix or reality TV isn’t doing it for you any-more?
Possibly you are waking up to a new you and you are ready for a change.
Write down your answers.
2. Maybe you want to grow as a spiritual person and your current situation does not allow the space to progress?
Have you been searching for the meaning of your existence?
Have you been asking yourself ” there must be more to life than this?”
If you are asking yourself these questions then possibly you are developing, quite quickly, as a person.
Some people go through their whole life not asking these types of questions, others do it relatively young.
The age of a person doesn’t really matter, what matters is you are waking up to your spiritual self; who you are and what you are.
Like Pandora’s box, once you open that particular lid, it is very hard to go back to where you were.
This particular journey will last the rest of your life, but you will learn so much more about life and who you are, it is definitely worth it.
Write down your answers.
This particular Maybe is quite tricky, what exactly do you want from this change?
More time to just think?
Exercise, walk on the grass in your bare feet or by the sea?
Or take yourself off to some sort of retreat?
Maybe you have no flipping idea what I am talking about and this is totally okay too. Keep reading.
3. Maybe you want to spend more time with your loved ones, maybe you want to work less and live more?
This question is about having more time.
Time is so precious, when we have lots of it we rarely appreciate it, where we have less of it, we always want more.
Some of us adults work towards an end goal; putting a roof over our heads, food on the table, giving our loved ones what they want and need.
However, we work so hard and for so long, sometimes we miss the journey of life that we’re travelling upon.
Sometimes it is too late.
Some of us miss out on the milestones of our children, the important family events, and forgetting to live.
If we were on a train, we would not be looking out of the window or enjoying the actual journey, because we are so focused on the destination.
The only destination we ever really have is death. Morbid but true.
I see this Maybe as working for money question, we give up our time to earn more money.
The higher up the ladder we go, the more demands on our time.
It is a tricky one, and only you can balance what you need to, to live, and what you expect out of your life, trading your time for money is a decision.
You may not realise it, but you have that choice. You make that decision, no one makes it for us.
But we work and work hard because that’s what we do, that’s what most people on this planet do.
But you say, “if I have more money I can spend more time with my family”
In my experience, it doesn’t always work out that way.
What you need to think about is working less, whilst earning more and having more time to spend with your loved ones.
We all want that. This is something you might want to consider for your change plan.
There are choices and alternatives out there, the online digital world has many opportunities to scale up a business at home. But that’s another story for another day.
Write down your answers.
4. Maybe you are sick and tired of the same routine and rat race, you long for the freedom to try out new things?
I am talking about the freedom to just live.
To be yourself.
To to find yourself.
Surely you want that?
Have you ever noticed how nice you are when you are on holiday?
You have noticed it, haven’t you?
That is the ‘true’ you.
When we are away from our work and stress that accompanies it, the stuff in our heads invading our thoughts.
With this all going on how can we ever be ourselves?
Do you long to have the freedom to find out who you really are?
To have the freedom to be the real you.
A luxury that very few of us ever achieve.
Write down your answers.
These answers will shape what you want from your life going forward, at least reframe how you look at your life. Don’t give up, keep going.
5. Maybe you sit at work or home all day and feel that your life is just slipping away?
I am a big daydreamer.
I’ve always peered out the window thinking about ideas and life.
Do you ever daydream about what your life could be?
Are you waiting for someone to inspire you?
To give you the courage or reduce your fear of doing something exciting with your life?
If you are here reading this article then you must want to change somewhere.
You are most likely searching for something different, so this question might touch something inside of you.
What I have learnt over the years is to create that change and success in my life. Whilst having big dreams and imagination is fantastic, to create real focussed change you need someone to inspire you.
Having a mentor or an inspiring person in your life can help propel your change forward.
Following mentors/teachers or those who have created the types of success you aspire to, is one way to move you forward and create your own change.
For example, I am currently developing and designing my own businesses online.
I am following a couple of people who have done just that. They inspire me and teach me, help me to succeed.
If this Maybe is something you understand, then following a mentor or inspiring person is the way to go.
Write down your answers.
6. Maybe you are stopped by the fear that lives inside of you?
Oh, the FEAR.
Even the word makes me retract. Tense up.
Fear has its’ place, it can keep you safe at times, but it can also cripple you in terms of taking risks, chances, that life throws your way.
How many times have you wanted to do something but you have been too scared?
For example, going for that promotion?
Asking that person out on a date?
Going out for a drink with some friends, but you don’t feel pretty enough, handsome enough, funny enough, worthy enough?
How many missed opportunities have you let slip through your fingers because of fear?
You’re not alone.
We have all been there.
Recognizing the fear can be a step forward in changing your life. Reducing anxiety and fear overnight can be impossible, but reducing it over weeks and months is possible.
Start small, start saying yes when really you want to say no, to new experiences, each and every day.
Look for new adventures and experiences, join clubs and groups, put yourself in situations where you feel a little bit uncomfortable, outside of your comfort zone.
Get a friend to help you, to give you some moral support.
To take little steps and work up to bigger steps as you go along and get more confident.
Overcoming your fear to live can be scary.
I always think of it as free falling out of an aeroplane and you aren’t sure if your parachute will work.
But if you don’t take a chance, how will you ever know?
Write down your answers. And let your words flow.
7. The last one (Ed: Thank Goodness I’ve run out of paper)…Maybe you are TOO scared to take the first steps and JUST like me, you don’t know where to turn?
You know, we all get scared.
Scared of change, scared of loss, scared of messing it all up.
And that is normal.
But fear and being scared should never really stop us from moving forward and creating change, a good change for ourselves and our families.
Ask yourself …”Am I scared of this change?”
And why am I scared?
Write down your answers.
Maybe you are a strong woman or a strong man.
And are used to being in control, being in charge of a large team?
Maybe you have a demanding job, a busy family life, live alone, maybe you are a house husband or wife?
Maybe you are experiencing domestic abuse?
Maybe you are jealous or envious of others?
Maybe you love too much or not at all?
Maybe you are lonely or never alone?
Maybe you feel stuck, but are scared of moving forward?
But you’re not alone.
You are just being human.
But first of all, do not be so hard on yourself.
Write down your good qualities and the things you love about yourself.
Sometimes our fears and what scares us is based on nothing at all, we are often more resilient and stronger than we realise.
However, circumstances can control us and make us feel weak or vulnerable in certain situations.
I have known people in very senior jobs, confident and strong, but living with an abusive partner, they can be very subservient and not in control at home.
Maybe you just have a feeling inside of you, your very essence, soul, but you are scared of moving forward.
We only have this life, and it can be very short, breath in and step forward into your change, to live the best life that you can.
Isn’t it better to be a little scared and moving forward, than just existing in a dull and comfortable world?
That is a scary thought!
I know I’ve been there.
I have had the same walls to climb, the same fears and scared feelings to overcome.
But that’s okay…
At least you recognise it, you know there is change to be done, you know what skills and abilities you have, deep down if you know it is the right thing to do, then you have no choice but to do it.
Do you really want it?
How bad do you want it?
Then move forward.
So, there we have the 7 Maybe’s.
This is just the start of the journey, to your change.
If you have completed this exercise tool correctly then you have asked yourself some soul searching questions, my friend.
I have done this very same exercise a few times, and I still re-ask myself those same questions when I need to refocus.
Believe me, until recently I was all of the above and more.
At the end of the day, the decision to take action is yours, only you can decide the direction of your life.
Yes, there can be external factors which can impact, but overall your own self-development, how you see yourself, how you live, is up to you.
You are in control.
You can take back control of your life.
If you want to read more of my musings and articles have a look here on my blog on the Think Your Happy website.
So, what else can you do to change your life around?
What are you changing in your mind to create change within, for success in your life?
Leave your comment below and let me know.
The Think community would love to hear your thoughts.
Take back control.
Create Your Own Success.