My little boy starts back to school tomorrow after his school holidays.
We’ve just had a tearful conversation (him crying, not me) about all the terrible things he might have to face tomorrow at school.
Poor little chap. He does worry a lot.
But I’m going to share with you what advice I gave to him.
So this article is about turning your thinking around from what if something bad happens tomorrow to …’Tomorrow is going to be awesome’.
Warning: to have this conversation with those you love or even yourself, you need:
a. a large mug of steaming hot chocolate.
b. a plate of luxury chocolate biscuits.
Like so many people on this planet of ours, my little lad and his mother are both born worriers.
They cannot necessarily help it, they feel worry, it is in their character and their DNA.
They worry about stuff that goes way beyond the usual stuff of worries that the average person in the street worries about.
So over the years, I’ve been there to listen and try and soothe their life’s journey to help change things around for them.
It isn’t always easy because they often talk themselves out of the positive thoughts into the negative again, but I try and never give up.
This morning my little lad was talking himself into a very sorry state about returning to school tomorrow after his holidays.
He’s had a great time and he is a normally happy, strong little character, full of imagination and ideas, loves playing and teasing his sister.
But this fun-loving little chap turns into a right mess when he is faced with going back to school after the holidays.
Now his school is great, he’s not in any trouble there, he’s got lots of friends and is happy when he’s there. But his worries build up in his mind to such an extent we need to step in to help him.
His main mode of conversation for the worry, which like many worries and fears are often without foundation of evidence or knowledge, they are often borne out of fear of the unknown or a sense of having no control.
How to change the worry around?
Well, my first advice is always…Stop the negative self-talk and start the positive self-talk now.
Thinking to yourself…”what if this happens or that happens. What if I fall down and break my leg, what if I have a big test and I fail, and I get told off, what if my boss scolds me for not doing this, or I get into trouble.”
None of this is helping you. and yes sometimes these things will happen. But often they will not.
Ask yourself …can I do anything to prevent it today, right now?
No? well then let it go.
Does spending all that time and energy worrying about them actually help you?
No, it doesn’t.
It just exhausts you and sets up negative vibrational energy in your character, in your soul that send-outs that negative vibe to the rest of the world and your reality.
I believe that feeling negativity can actually create more negativity stuff from happening.
It also makes you feel pretty rubbish too.
Why waste your life feeling rubbish when you can feel positive and happy?
This isn’t being naive, it is being sensible. Conserve your energy.
My partner says “but I’m the realist I have to think of these things, you don’t”.
I say… “No I don’t and who is happier? me not you”.
I still deal with stuff when it happens.
But why go through our very short lives feeling bad and scared about what might happen, but rarely does?
I said to my son… why waste the last day of your holiday worrying about school tomorrow, worrying about stuff that 99% of the time will never happen?
When you can be thinking of great stuff that might happen or not but won’t it be much more fun thinking of this or better still, just enjoy your day.
When you think of the positive this isn’t being dumb or unrealistic it is being sensible, using your energy better, and it sets up a positive vibration in your reality, your world becomes a better, happier place.
Isn’t that a nicer place to be?
I was always told when I was a child….why worry about things that will never happen?
It was good advice.
I remember years ago I had a friend at University who was worried about what would happen when he died, because he didn’t believe in God or Heaven.
Pretty heavy stuff for Uni students.
But I said to him if you are worrying about it, why not just tell yourself he exists then you can chill out and not worry. You cannot prove it, either way, can you?
If not believing in him makes your life miserable and you are worrying about it then what’s the harm in believing?
At least you’ll not worry about what happens after you die. If it’s true you’ll go to heaven, if not then well you won’t know very much will you? So job done.
I’m not sure he got his head around it.
I often wonder what happened to him.
Maybe he’s an estate agent now.
Who owns your mind?
You’ve got control over your mind, nobody else has.
If you are spending sleepless nights worrying over your work, job, health, school, who wins?
Not you, that’s for sure.
All you do is make yourself ill because you are worrying and rest assured worrying can make you very ill.
Studies (**see reference link below) show that worrying puts pressure on your immune system and can create illness in your body, it makes you more susceptible to bugs and disease.
Change your mind to change how you feel.
So what do we do?
We focus on the positive, that’s all we do.
Say it out loud, write it down, talk about it to others, get it out there when you are feeling negative about something and you are worrying unnecessarily.
Say….”What if great things are going to happen tomorrow? I am going to have a great day tomorrow.
This is going to go right, that is going to go well, I am going to have a fantastic day.
Everything is going to go well for me…I just know.”
Wow, powerful words don’t you think?
Doesn’t that sound better? Healthier? More in Control?
This works because that’s what I do.
We all worry, maybe not as much as some people do.
But we can change things around.
By focusing on turning the negative way we talk to ourselves to a more positive way of talking to ourselves.
You won’t regret it.
And my son?
Well, he feels better and has stopped worrying for now at least.
Maybe you have other ideas about habits we can adopt for success, and feel happier? Please leave your suggestions below, we would love to hear them.
If you want to read more of my musings and articles have a look here on my blog on the Think Your Happy website.
So, what else can you do to change your life around?
What are you changing in your mind to create change within for succes in your life?
Leave your comment below and let me know.
The Think community would love to hear your thoughts.
Take back control.
Create Your Own Success.
Stress Weakens the Immune System: https://www.apa.org/research/action/immune